The word I would use to describe my life over the last three years is CHANGE.  It seems that my life has been in a constant sense of motion and change since Amalea was born.  Parenting has been the most incredible experience of my life and while I will be the first to admit it has not always been easy, I will say it has been fun, exciting, and fulfilling.  After Maya was born just over a year ago I went through some post-partum depression and in a lot of ways I feel like I am still coming out of that.  It was a lot for me to adjust to life with two kids.  It was really hard for me to give up teaching teenagers full time so that I could put all my energy and effort into my children.  I love teaching.  But I also love being a mom.  And it has taken me a really long time to say that and even honestly to completely feel that.  In the  midst of all these changes my husband has been my rock.  His love for me and his patience for my depression and my attitude and my tears in truly incredible.  He has challenged me as a wife, a friend, a parent, a daughter, a follower of Jesus.  He works so hard to try to get me to see myself the way he sees me.  But I have a warped view of who I am – I need to love me.  I need to work on me.

All that to say that it is with a bit of  heavy heart that I have decided not to continue doing wedding coordinating.  I think I have known that this is what is best for me for awhile now, but I have not been willing to give up – to stop – to quit.  I am NOT a quitter.  But I am also finally learning how to do what is best for me and for my family.  I know, without a doubt, this is what is best for my family.  They are everything to me – my children, my husband.  I had a rough day at work (I work 3 part time jobs) and normally this would have totally stressed me out and turned me into a freak, but I was oddly calm – and I was calm because I kept thinking that I got to go home to my family.  They are my peace – and yes, at times they are also my insanity – but it is worth it.  I want to put them first.  I want to be the best mother I can be.  I want to be the best wife I can be.

One thing I do know is that I am better mother and wife when I am involved in education.  I get a lot of my confidence as a teacher.  It’s hard to explain and without being too cheesy I will say that education is my call.  It what I feel god has called me to do – to impact students through loving them and showing them grace and patience and giving them a chance and listening to them and teaching them to value themselves.

While I love coordinating weddings, I know that season has come to an end for me.  It is time to give all of me to my family and to the career I am called to and yes, even to myself.  It is not selfish to learn to love yourself – it is wise.  I cannot love others without reserve until I love myself that way.  I have no idea how to love me, how to treasure myself, how to do for myself what I desperately need.  But with the help of my husband, my children, and my friends I am ready to figure that out.

So, I say goodbye to those of you who follow me as a wedding coordinator and to those of you who follow me as a friend I say thanks for being a part of this journey and I cannot wait to continue living and learning to love with you.

There is a very important shout-out I need to give….to my wonderful husband.  Without Jim this website would not exist.  He has put in a lot of time designing and writing code to make this work and he has put up with me changing my mind and requesting a line here or a curved edge there.  He is patient and gentle with me and he worked so hard.  Beyond all the website help Jim has completely supported me in my desire to make my own wedding coordinating business happen and has encouraged me every step of the way.  He is a talented web designer and an incredible husband.  Thank you.

Ever since I got married I have loved weddings. This is why I started my own business as a wedding coordinator – I could talk about weddings for hours. Dresses, cakes, flowers, lighting, decor, music, attire…every detail about weddings is so exciting to me. I probably love all the details because I am such an organized person – I mean freakishly organized. Being a part of someone’s wedding is the greatest feeling. Everyone is so excited and it is such a joyful day, but beyond the joy I really do love putting it all together. I love setting up the reception and seeing the bride after she walks in and knowing by the look on her face that she loves it. I love watching the happy couple enjoy their day and not stress. I could go on and on, but really everything about weddings makes me smile.

Here are some pics of the day that started it all:

In recent weeks more than a few people have mentioned to me that they would love to start their business, but they haven’t yet.  I’ve heard that it’s too scary and that it’s a lot of work for something you can’t guarantee will work out.  While I respect those who have shared this with me, my only response is, “do it”.  Take the plunge and trust yourself.  If you are passionate about something, as I am about weddings, and you love to do it then take that leap and put yourself out there.  Sure, it might not work out as you hope it will, but it might. You’ll never know unless you try.  So, here I am…I have officially started my own wedding coordinating business.  I don’t really have any fears about it, just excitement.  I love everything about weddings and cannot wait to have the opportunities to help couples see their dreams come true.  This is just the beginning and I cannot wait to see where it goes.

Just because this is the start of my own business this certainly is not the start to my experience with wedding coordinating.  I have had the privilege of being involved in a number of weddings over the last 4 years.  Those experiences are exactly what has led me to today…it was a taste of the joy that comes with helping a couple plan their wedding and I look forward to the future chances I will have to help bring that joy to other couples.