These last few months have not been a high point in my life. I have not been at my best. I have been impatient, short tempered, easily frustrated, overwhelmed, emotional, unrealistic. I have not been the best mother I can – hell, I haven’t even been a very decent mother at times. I have not been the most loving wife.
And the thing is….I would do anything for my kids and my husband. But lately, I just haven’t done much of anything at all for them. Jim is the most amazing husband and father. I have a husband who wants to co-parent, who wants to talk me through my emotional break-downs, who challenges me to be better, who shows me what it means to have faith and trust in God, who gives and gives and gives. I have Amalea who is so quirky and so wonderful, who makes friends everywhere she goes, who loves to laugh and play dress-up, who wants to learn to read and write, who is so curious and so incredibly loving of all people. I have Maya who gives the best hugs, who lives to make others laugh, who waddles around talking in sentences, who follows her sister and mimics her every move, who loves her family more than anything. These 3 people are my everything.
And I have failed them lately. But this post is not about how terrible I am – it is about hope. In my daily verse email today this verse was sent to me:
“My child, eat honey, for it is good, and the drippings of the honeycomb are sweet to your taste. Know that wisdom is such to your soul; if you find it, you will find a future, and your hope will not be cut off.” -Proverbs 24:13-14
Wisdom is knowing how much I have been given and how to show my appreciation. It is being better for my husband, for Amalea, for Maya, and for myself. Wisdom is choosing to be at my best and. My family is like sweet honey – so freaking unbelievable – and I need to enjoy them and love them and be with them and they will be my hope.